Pictures of You
by 50ShadesofGerardGay
Summary: Letters.
1. Dear Clare

I got bored, so I wrote this. It's a little depressing :/ Idk why I wrote it honestly.

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><p>I found a photo album today… It was about us… I don't think you remember; you told me you wanted to forget me, to forget us, to forget where you came from. There were so many pictures of us laughing, and of you smiling. I miss those days.<p>

We've all said and done things, but I want to say this: I miss you. My world isn't the same without you. If I said I was sorry, if I promised to get help, if I promised…anything, would you love me again? I'm sure I could live without you, like I lived without her, but I don't want to try.

You changed me. You picked up my broken pieces and stitched me back together. You made me better, but I still have to fix a lot of things before I can get close to being worthy of you. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have you back in my arms again. I miss you more than anything, but I don't think you care.

The pictures are of us when we were in high school. Remember when you said you wanted to be a nurse? Remember when you helped me write my story? I do. I remember how I only wanted you in my life and how I wanted to spend the rest of my days with you. I still do. You're everything to me.

But Hollywood changed you.

You went on to bigger, brighter things and left me in the dust. Every time I see you in a movie, or on TV, I think to myself: damn. That one word covers everything I feel. I see how beautiful you've become, I've learned to value it more. I see how happy you are without me, even if you're only acting. I see what an idiot I was for driving you away. I feel like it's my fault you don't even come back to visit your parents anymore.

But none of that matters.

I'll never send this letter to you, mainly because I don't have your address. You'll never read the feelings that I keep in my head. You'll never come back to me; you'll never be mine again. I can only hope you feel my thoughts, my love, my misery. Maybe…just maybe…if I hope enough, you'll come back to me. I can only hope…

I'll always love you,  
>Eli<p> 


	2. Dear Eli

My mom sent me a letter today. She told me you stopped by for a visit and helped her around the house because she's so lonely without me. Thank you for that. In her letter, there was a picture of us she told me she found under the coffee table. I remember Alli took it the day we first got together. Your eyes were bright as he you held me in your arm and I looked so comfortable with you.

I miss those days.

Hollywood is boring now; there is nothing fun to do because everyone's so stuck up. I can't go out much either without the paparazzi mauling me. I spend a lot of time when I'm not working on a movie or TV episode in my Hollywood home. My sister lives with me now and we spend all of our time together because she thinks I've gotten depressed. I guess I kind of am…

I remember that video project we made about our modern interpretation of Romeo and Juliet. I remember how I had to kiss your soda-sticky lips and pretend to die by you. I remember the sparks I felt when I kissed you and I saw you felt it too. We were both so freaked out…

I remember how much I had to work to be your girlfriend, with your hoarding and extreme personality, but I'm not complaining. It was kind of fun helping you with your problems and it made me feel good inside that I could help you, that I was good for something. I still love you, but I'm scared.

It was one thing, picking fights with Fitz and where that led, but I could handle that because it brought us a little closer. Then you started suffocating me with your love. I wasn't used to that, and maybe that's why I pushed you away. I've made a lot of mistakes, but that has to be the biggest mistake I've ever made.

Whatever I thought your flaws were, they don't matter to me anymore. Being away from you in the year I've been in Hollywood made me realize just how much I love you.

But I guess that doesn't matter anymore.

My mom told me she asked you if you wanted my address so you could write to me, but you turned her down. Does that mean you've moved on? I lay awake every night wondering that now. It's getting hard to go to sleep knowing I won't wake up the next day and be able to see your face, feel your warmth, or have you love me like you used to.

You're a Senior now. I've spent my entire Junior year in Hollywood and I've kept my marks up. But even if I went back home, you'd probably be off at college somewhere. Sure I could ask Bullfrog where you were, but it would be hard having a long distance relationship like that. When I went to school with you, it felt like miles when we were only doors away from each other; you at college would be continents apart…

There wasn't much purpose for writing this letter. You'll never read it. You'll never know how much I loved you, how much I still love you. I hope and pray every night that you'll come back to me, or send me some kind of sign that you want me back, but maybe God doesn't work for everyone. Maybe…maybe God hates me for the things I've done. I really don't care, because I made all of those changes when I was with you. I can only pray, though…

I love you so much,  
>Clare<p>

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><p>SumawesomEchQ thought it would be a good idea to put a letter from Clare in here, so I went along with it.<p> 


	3. Dear Alli

I know you hate me, and I don't blame you. I know you blame me for all the bad decisions you made. I've always come from a relatively wealthy family with girls falling over me. I've been alive for seventeen years and none of them have ever dumped me; I've never had to work for someone I loved. Honestly, I've never loved any girl the way I love you, Alli. You're everything I've always wanted. I need you, Alli. You're a queen Alli and I would do anything to be your king.

I've screwed up a lot with you and I'm sorry. Do you remember when we took pictures in the photo booth during the dance at Above the Dot? I still have those. I look at them all the time. Sometimes the memories make me sad, sometimes they make me happy because I remember every fun thing we did together. You're everything to me, and I'm nothing without you. I hate that we never talk anymore; I miss seeing you in school. I wish we could go back to high school and I could do everything over with you.

The seven years we've been apart have been hell for me. Not seeing you everyday kills me and I wish I had that chance. I love you Alli and I'd need all the time in the world to apologize to you. Like I said, I made so many mistakes with you and I wish I could take them all back. I just hope that I can see you one day before I die. Even if I don't get to hold you in my arms, kiss you, or be yours, seeing you and talking with you would set me right. I love you, Alli, and any way I could have you in my life would give me the opportunity to die happy. I hope you respond to this letter with positive words, but I will totaly understand if you don't.

I could never stop loving you,

Drew


	4. Dear Drew

_**Oh look, a long overdue update! I've been busy with other projects and I was looking at all my stories on the site and I was like: 'I'm going to write another chapter for this' so I did! I hope you guys like this and I might get to writing on another letter soon.**_

_**Until next time,**_

_**Skye**_

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><p>I started this letter three times this week. I've been so distracted with my work lately that I can't get down to business. You know how busy I am right? Actually, you probably don't.<p>

You remember how I graduated with you? Yeah, I got an early scholarship and I just couldn't pass it up. I quickly passed four years and I'm really close to creating a chemical that will clear the lungs of all tar and nicotine without out any serious side effects.

I decided to write you back to let you know that I've moved on. I had to. I can't let you hold me back anymore. I don't blame you for the things that happened to us because the majority of it was my fault, too. I think it's okay for me to tell you that I met someone at my college graduation. We've been dating for four whole years now and I've never been happier.

I'm sorry if you miss what we had but—I don't mean to sound rude—that's all in the past and it's there for a reason. I keep in touch with Jenna a lot and she says you and Bianca fell in love, got married, and have a little girl. That's a lot to accomplish in seven years, but sending me a letter like you did could potentially ruin all of what you built, don't you think?

It was good to hear from you, because it's forcing me to give us both closures. You got everything you needed to say out and so did I. Now, I hope you don't mind that I ask you not to contact me again. I don't want to come between you and Bianca should she ever find this note. That being said, I hope you understand why I've sent your letter back; I don't have the heart to dispose of it and I would hate for my significant other to find it.

I hope you and Bianca both have a long and happy life together, especially with your daughter and any future children. I'm trying to make the best for myself and I hope you do the same.

Sincerely,

Alli


End file.
